


the moon is the only light we'll see

by nerdytardis



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s03e08 For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky, Established Relationship, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-29 11:10:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17806898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdytardis/pseuds/nerdytardis
Summary: Another beat of near-silence and Spock was staring at his screen again.  There was a new tension in the air now, a wall being constructed between them.Jim was very familiar with the sensation and knew that it meant Spock wanted to be left alone.  But Jim had come down here for a reason.“Did he ever tell you about what happened with his dad?”





	the moon is the only light we'll see

**Author's Note:**

> i was writing something else and it reminded me of this story idea i've been meaning to write for literally Years so here we are lmao
> 
> title from "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King  
> sorry for any mistakes

The hard click of his boots against metal floors rang through the other-wise silent hall.  One turn, then another, before the door to the lab was in front of him. 

Cast in shadow by the dim lights of the Delta shift, the door looked like nothing more than a black rectangle—like a passage to another, darker dimension.

Jim squared his shoulders and stepped forward, the door quietly swishing open in front of him. 

All the lights in the lab were on.  Jim stopped short and blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted.  Amid the glare, he spotted his first officer in the corner, hunched over a monitor. 

Watching Spock, Jim cleared his throat and shuffled his feet a little.

“I am well aware of your presence Captain, there is no need for caution.”  Spock didn’t even look up from his work as his voice carried through the near-silent room. 

“I didn’t want to startle you.” Jim said, finally walking over to the corner of the lab that Spock had taken over.

“My hearing is far superior to yours,” Spock said, turning a dial on his monitor but otherwise not moving, “It would be very difficult to startle me.”

“I know,” Jim shrugged, “But you’re…distracted.  Better to be safe than sorry.”

Spock hummed and turned the dial in the other direction. 

Jim bit his lip and rubbed the palms of his hands together.  After a moment, broken only by the buzz of machinery and the constant hum of the engine running beneath their feet, Jim spoke.

“When was the last time you got some sleep?”

“I won’t require sleep for another week.”

“So it’s already been a week.” Jim looked around, at the beakers and charts scattered around the nearby tables.  “Have you meditated at least?”

Spock finally looked up from his work, long enough to jot down something on the PADD next to him.  “I do not have the time currently.”

Jim watched him go back to his monitor and let out a little sigh.  “Spock—”

“Captain.” Spock went still, not looking at him, but not looking at his work either, “I appreciate your concern but I don’t require rest, or your assistance, at this time.”

“What do you need, Spock?”

Spock blinked, his jaw working a little beneath his pale skin.  “I require time alone to work.”

Another beat of near-silence and Spock was staring at his screen again.  There was a new tension in the air now, a wall being constructed between them. 

Jim was very familiar with the sensation and knew that it meant Spock wanted to be left alone.  But Jim had come down here for a reason. 

“Did he ever tell you about what happened with his dad?”

Spock stilled again.  He sat back and finally turned to fully face Jim. “His father died of pyrrhoneuritis.”

Jim nodded and sat against the table behind him.  “Bones spent months trying to find a cure.  Working himself ragged, barely sleeping or eating for days on end.  I didn’t know him then, but to hear Joanna talk about it—” Jim shook his head, trying to imagine it, “He nearly lost himself trying to save his dad.”

Jim looked to Spock, who didn’t respond.  He just kept sitting there, still and silent. 

“In the end, I don’t know if he even got to say goodbye.”

Spock finally blinked, looking to all the work surrounding him.  “I think I understand what you are trying to say Captain.”

Jim hummed.  He knew Spock would understand.  The question was whether he would listen, or brush it all aside as human failure.

“You need to go to him.” Jim pushed, leaning a little bit closer, “Before it’s too late.”

“If I find a cure there will be no need—”

“ _If,_ Spock.” Jim huffed out a frustrated breath, “There’s no guarantee that we’re going to be able to stop this.  Xenopolycythemia  has been around for decades and no one’s been able to find a cure.”

“But now—”

“Spock.” Jim stood up and went to stand right in front of his first officer, “You’re scared.”  Spock started to protest, so Jim plowed on.  “You’re scared and upset in your own way.  But guess what Bones is feeling?”

That shut Spock right up.  His mouth closed with an audible click of teeth.

“He’s scared out of his mind, light years away from his family and looking down what will most-likely be the last year of his life.”

Spock seemed to be growing paler, but a fire had ignited in Jim’s gut—there was no stopping now.

“And right now he’s in his office trying to ignore all of that.  Which is the exact same thing you are doing down here.” Jim gestured to the lab, “There’s a difference between trying to find a cure and trying to hide from the facts.

“Go to him.” Jim said, “Be there for him _now_ , before it’s too late.”

Taking a breath, Jim leaned back and put his hands on his hips. 

Spock brought his hands together, resting the pads of his fingers together lightly and staring at a space to the left of Jim’s shoulder.

“We’re all doing everything we can.  Neither of you have to fight this alone.” Jim reached out and put a careful hand on Spock’s shoulder.

Nodding a little, Spock looked up to meet Jim’s gaze.  “Thank you Captain.  You have,” he thought about his word for a moment, “been very enlightening.”

Realizing that he had gotten through to his friend, Jim held back his small smile.  “I’m glad.” He said, squeezing Spock’s shoulder before he walked away, the lab doors swishing closed behind him.

\-- - --

Christine was talking to someone in the other room, their voices fading into a soft murmur in the background. 

Leonard had tried to dismiss her and let the poor Delta shift nurse actually do her job, but Chris was being even more stubborn than usual.

“If you’re here, I’m here.” She had said, crossing her arms and sticking her chin out at him.

“Fine.” He had grumbled and returned to his office.

His quarters were just too big, too empty and too quite.  Here at least he could get some work done until he couldn’t keep his eyes open.  Then a few hours of tossing and turning before he got up and did it all over again.  M’Benga didn’t seem to care about the erratic hours and Jim certainly wasn’t going to try and tell him to do anything he didn’t want to right now.

Distracted by his thoughts and the file in front of him, Leonard didn’t notice that Christine had gone quiet until the chime for his office door buzzed softly. 

“Yeah?”

“It’s me.”

Oh.  Leonard blinked and sat back in his chair.  “Come in.”

The door swished aside to reveal Spock, his arms folded behind his back.  In the other room, Leonard could see Christine trying to pretend she wasn’t watching them. 

Leonard waved Spock in.  “Get in here so Chris will stop worrying.”

“What makes you think—”

“Just get in here.”

Spock did as he was told and stepped into the office.  The door swished closed behind him, before silence descended.

“Long time, no see stranger.” Leonard tried to make it sound offhand and light, but the effect fell flat against Spock’s unmoving face. 

“Uh,” Leonard shifted and cleared his throat, “Sorry, it’s an old Earth phrase.”

“I am familiar with it.” Spock said, before ducking his head.  “I’m sorry Leonard.”

Surprised by that, Leonard merely titled his head and asked, “For what?”

“I’ve been—” Spock considered his words, “absent, for some time.”

“Well, you’ve been working on a cure,” Leonard looked at his hands, “That’s not something to apologize for.”

“That is what I thought.” Spock stepped around Leonard’s desk, “But I think I may have been deceiving myself.”

Leonard looked up at Spock curiously. 

“Someone has pointed out to me that I have been unconsciously avoiding you, and thus, avoiding the matter at hand.”

“That I’m dying.”

Spock seemed to stiffen, his mouth drawing in a tight line, “Yes.”

Leonard let out a long breath through his nose.  “Spock.” He reached up and took Spock’s hands in his.

“Yes, Leonard?” Spock adjusted his hands so that he could get a better hold on Leonard’s.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“I have learned over the years that is usually smarter to apologize than not.”

Leonard huffed out something close to a chuckle and shook his head.  Standing up, he actually found himself smiling a little as he stepped into Spock’s space.

Spock brought his arms up to wrap around Leonard, his palms coming to rest on his back.  Leonard pressed his face into Spock’s chest and breathed in as he brought his own hands to grab onto the back of Spock’s uniform.

“I’m tired Spock.”

“Would you like to retire to our quarters?”

Leonard nodded into Spock’s chest.  “In a moment.” He mumbled, “I missed this.”

“Me too.” Spock said quietly above him and pressed a soft kiss to the top of Leonard’s hair. 

Leonard smiled into Spock’s chest, and let himself rest in the cool and familiar embrace as his fatigue slowly caught up with him. 

“Let’s go.” He said after a long few minutes.

Spock let his hands fall away so that Leonard could step out of his embrace.  He did not let Leonard get very far before he took one of his hands and intertwined their fingers. 

Leonard looked at it, then back up to Spock.  “In the mood for some PDA huh?”

Spock shrugged, “Perhaps.”

Smirking, Leonard squeezed their intertwined fingers and turned to the door.  “Well, I’m not going to complain.”

As they walked out of Medbay, Christine didn’t even try to hide her little smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> and a few days later they all discovered the Fabrini asteroid and Spock found a cure and everything was okay!! bc anything else would be too sad!!
> 
> anyway thanks for reading!


End file.
